Returned Affections
by Derrot
Summary: Matsuda overhears Light and Misa talking one night... Matsuda x Light. Episode 37 spoilers.


**Returned Affections**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note._

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Matsuda sighed to himself, laying still on the couch in the dark apartment. Was he doing something wrong by being here? Neither Light nor Misa knew that he was still here. But when Matsuda had woken from his nap, the lights had already been turned off and everyone else had left. He should just stay here so he wouldn't alarm Light and Misa. But he felt lucky that he was in such a situation. Now he could hear the Light the rest of the task force never heard. He could hear how Light spent his nights with Misa… maybe he could even hear what it was like to make love to Light-kun… he blushed at the thought.

But instead of hearing the romance he fantasized about in his deepest dreams, he heard something entirely opposite. Light was yelling at Misa. The poor woman only sounded like her normal cheerful self, desperate to please Light… she didn't deserve such treatment. What was he yelling at her about anyway? Defying any common sense, Matsuda silently rolled off the couch and crawled to the bedroom door. The conversation became more audible. …death note! They mentioned the death note! Matsuda's eyes widened in horror… this means… with all they are saying in there… with Light instructing Misa on which criminals to kill… Light is Kira!

All this time… Light had been Kira. Ryuzaki had been right all along. _Light was… amazing! _Matsuda couldn't help but feel a guilty wave of admiration. But reality hit him when he realized the consequences of this. If Light is ever caught, he'll either get life in prison or the death penalty. _But Light will never get caught! The only people that know that he is Kira is Misa… and me. _He panicked. If Light found out that Matsuda had eavesdropped, Kira would kill him! And he would know Matsuda never went home if he saw him here in the morning! But if he left right now, Light would hear that, too!

But Matsuda had a blessing. He was Matsuda… no one ever took him seriously. If he just fell back asleep on the couch, they would think he had just fallen asleep and forgot to wake up and go home (which would have been true if he hadn't woken up)! He curled up on the couch in his usual sleeping position and closed his eyes. Before he could fall asleep, though, he heard the bedroom door open. Opening his eyes a crack, he saw it was Light and squeezed his eyes shut again.

He felt the vibrations of Light's footsteps as he walked toward the couch. Through the tiniest squint, he spotted something in Light's hand. Was it the death note? He flinched involuntarily as something warm enveloped him. No. Light had draped a blanket over his body. And then tucked him in.

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Matsuda didn't forget that night. So when there came a time that Light had actually fallen asleep at his desk after a long night of "working on the Kira case", Matsuda couldn't help himself. Were his affections really returned that night? He would only know for certain through this. Scooting a chair beside Light's, he sat down and wrapped his arms around Light's waist and rested his head on Light's back. Light's thin body, despite it being the body of Kira, was warm and strong. Maybe this would be the closest he'd every come to Light. But he was happy. And he fell asleep holding his Light-kun.

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In the morning, Light awoke with Matsuda still clinging to his waist, sleeping peacefully with his head still on Light's back. Light cracked a grin, and using the arm opposite the side Matsuda was on, petted the older man's bushy hair gently and stroked his cheek. "I'll be a benevolent God, Matsu-tan… you'll see." Light laid his head on the desk again. He would let Matsuda enjoy his sleep.

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Following the trail of blood left by the wounded Light, Matsuda, along with Aizawa, finally found Light's body. As he rushed up the stairs, Matsuda wished, no, pleaded, that Light could be saved. But it was impossible. Light's delicate hands were now icy cold; his wrists carried no pulse. His chest was still and silent. Scooping Light's dead body into his lap, Matsuda held him à la Pietà.

_I was the only one that could do it, Light-kun. You would have spent your life in jail. I've saved you from suffering._

_I love you._

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Matsuda is adorable when he falls asleep on the couch in Light's apartment… so I wanted to write about that, hehe. No alternate ending here… but still… short and sweet, eh? I'm in love with this pairing…


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